“We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” ― Pema Chödrön
Life is a series of cycles—moments of togetherness and connection, followed by periods of unraveling and letting go. It is in this ebb and flow that we often find the deepest opportunities for growth, healing, and gratitude. Pema Chödrön’s words remind us of the inevitability of change and the beauty that arises when we create space for all of it—the joy and the sorrow, the relief and the grief.
Embracing Impermanence
The very nature of life is impermanent. We celebrate when things come together—relationships, projects, goals—and mourn when they fall apart. Yet, this impermanence is not a flaw; it is what makes life dynamic and full of potential. Every ending gives way to a beginning, and every moment of falling apart holds the seeds of coming together again.
When we resist this natural rhythm, clinging to what was or fearing what might come, we add unnecessary suffering to our lives. But when we allow ourselves to flow with life’s cycles, we cultivate resilience and grace. We learn that falling apart is not failure—it’s transformation.
Making Room for It All
Often, when things fall apart, we try to escape discomfort or rush to fix what feels broken. But true healing comes from allowing ourselves to be present with the full spectrum of our emotions. Joy and sorrow, hope and despair—all are valid, and all have a place in our experience.
By making room for both the light and the shadow, we honor the wholeness of life. Gratitude plays a key role in this process. It allows us to find meaning even in difficult times and to appreciate the lessons that emerge when things don’t go as planned.
Gratitude in Transitions
Think about a time in your life when things seemed to fall apart—a loss, a change, or an unexpected challenge. While it may have been painful, it likely also brought moments of clarity, connection, or growth. Perhaps it opened doors to new possibilities or deepened your understanding of yourself.
Expressing gratitude during times of transition doesn’t mean denying the pain or pretending to be happy. Instead, it means acknowledging the gifts hidden within the challenges—the insights, the strength, and the opportunities to rebuild.
Coming Together Again
Just as surely as things fall apart, they come together again. Life’s cycles are always moving, bringing new relationships, experiences, and opportunities for joy. When we embrace this rhythm, we find a profound sense of peace. We stop fighting against the inevitable and start trusting the process.
Pema Chödrön’s wisdom encourages us to find gratitude not just for the moments of togetherness but also for the times of falling apart. Both are necessary, both are valuable, and both are part of the beautiful, messy journey of being human.
A Grateful Heart
As we reflect on this quote, let us carry with us the reminder to make room for it all—the ups and the downs, the joy and the pain. Let us approach life with a grateful heart, knowing that every cycle brings its own kind of healing and growth. And let us remember that in the falling apart, there is always the promise of coming together again.